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Thanks, Extreme Ass Spreader! OK, we have to interject here. Why in the hell would you possibly need to stretch your anus four inches wide?

Ah, again we learn why you don't ask the Internet a question you don't want to know the answer to. The thing is, every kind of sex has disadvantages, where you can't reach certain things or perform certain actions, or one partner gets left out of the pleasure.

This product seems to perfectly combine all of those downsides into one device. To the point that they need them to vibrate way, way more than even the most powerful internal motor can drive it?

To the point that in order to feel anything, you need an industrial power tool spinning your marital aid at several hundred RPMs and creating enough friction to spark spontaneous vaginal combustion in the process?

This actually looks like a fairly standard piece of high-quality plumbing equipment you'd find at the hardware store, until you look closely at the largest black attachment.

Then you realize this is for, as the site says, "intimate water play. Remember how, as a teenager, you'd try to dupe members of the opposite sex into a game of Twister in the hopes of one day maybe touching some boob "by accident"?

This is what happens when that mischievous childhood memory is taken to Hollywood and gang fucked by men in masks. If the Post Master up there didn't look quite dangerous enough, why not take those same mounted dildos and put them on a spring?

And then jump up and down with it inside you? Why, they even added an attachment for a friend so you can stare into each other's eyes as you both come to the realization you're suffering massive genital trauma that you'll likely never recover from.

Remember all those times you had sex and thought something was missing? If that something involved being suspended by your ankles in a full-body rubber straight jacket, your life is about to get a whole lot better.

If not, things are probably about to get worse. This gruesome looking thing may or may not be designed to make the average man look as though his crotch is being attacked by an afro'd manta ray.

It's hard to say, really. Ian is currently recovering from the trauma of researching this article over at www.

For further terror from the world of sex, check out 5 Ridiculous Safe for Work Fetishes. And to wipe the horror from your eyes, stop on by Cracked. Don't make me do this again.

Don't have an account? Continue as Guest. Please enter a Username. Works great A better option than a spinning attachment like this would be this one One person found this helpful.

Good piece. Wife loves it! Will be getting the sawzall attachment soon! This attachment was surprisingly great. Good investment..

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She works in Aus most of the year and facilitates healing trips to Peru. But I think its OK - Her job is not at risk, if anything its like advertising in the right place, right circles for a mental health professional with her kind of perspective, probably what a lot of us need to be honest.

Anyways scrub it if it needs scrubbing. I was meaning to write a short story of my Centrelink debauchery, public wig outs, claims of heavy drug dependency and playing the game hardout.

I do it all for the cactus, for the spare time to cultivate. My job providers ceased all job searching requirements at the start of the year shortly before I was due to enter into a 'work for the dole phase' whilst still injecting me with maximum dole money each week ever since.

I just had to lose my shit in the office and start screaming like a spastic, and everything worked out. I've now got a script for Naloxone that I have not, nor will ever need to use I don't imagine.

I haven't dabbled in that class of 'comforters' since my blue lipped eye opener at the start of the year. Muriel spent a fucking decade in Peru under the guidance of a shaman training in the practice of Huachuma ceremonies mainly, and aya to a lesser degree also.

Retrained in late life her mid 40's in psychology, then went to peru for a decade, and is back now helping turds like myself at the job provider office.

Anyway, the rort, the game, the bludge, its all coming undone, but in a good way though. The universe is trying to tell me something here I am getting the feeling.

Trades as 'Huachuma Consultancy' aka 'Seeking self Happiness'. Does anyone know her or have heard of her, maybe from past EGA's?

I'd rather pay if the possibility is open HD? I'm looking for 2 primo fattt "St Paul" tip cuts to start my collection if at all possible Hal? Lucky lucky mongrels with awesome, funny, honest, clever and entertaining short tales.

Has been a wicked thread. Practiced harm minimization always. And don't be afraid to lose your shit publicly sometimes.

But shes good for me at least. Maybe the whole systems bout to shift boys 'n girls. Maybe the plant teachers will get the recognition, the law reform and the scientific study that is so duly needed one day lets hope Caapi, P.

Two weeks or less and ill see how I'm going, Able. So you driving your Van would be best, as to not hold u up. Maybe getting like litre plant bags and semi potting our shit up would see them better traveling too providing rootstock is attached.

We can dig together, I have performance enhancers for the day should our host allow, and if I drive. Probably touch base in Sydney on our way up.

Drive separately. Stop at Grassy my joint if you need to piss and shit and eat and medicate, then continue north on our venture another 5ish hrs.

I guess its free reign till then. Epic fkn vines! Three Brother Mountains Acacia Courtii native microclimate is on our way.

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